


Bouquet of Roses

by omgsynecdoche



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Established Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Married Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Police Officer Sawamura Daichi, Teacher Sugawara Koushi, Team Parents Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgsynecdoche/pseuds/omgsynecdoche
Summary: As Daichi gets everything ready for Koushi’s birthday party, he can’t help but think about all the years they’ve spent together.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi & Sawamura Daichi, Sawamura Daichi & Shimizu Kiyoko, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Bouquet of Roses

**Author's Note:**

> This is an entry to Haikyuu Angst Week 2020.
> 
> Day 7: FREE DAY
> 
> TW: illness, cancer
> 
> \-----
> 
> I was listening to Sam Smith's "For the Lover that I Lost" the entire time I was writing this, so you might want to give it a try for maximum effect.

Daichi woke up to the blaring sound of his alarm clock. Groaning, he reached over to the nightstand to kill the alarm, and then rolled over on his other side. His eyes instantly fell on Koushi’s pretty face, smiling at him, eyes crinkled. Daichi couldn’t help but return one.  
  
“Happy birthday, Koushi,” Daichi whispered, placing a soft kiss on Koushi’s lips. The smile didn’t leave the blonde man’s face as Daichi got up and headed for the shower.  
  
As Daichi got ready for the day, he couldn’t help but think about the first time he spent Koushi’s birthday with him. They were first years, newbies in the volleyball club. It was after practice, and he had asked Koushi if he wanted to get meat buns on the way home. As they were walking, one of Koushi’s classmates had called out and greeted him “happy birthday”. Daichi had panicked momentarily, thinking Koushi had a birthday party to get to, but Koushi had explained that there was no party, that the meat bun pit stop was fine.  
  
Koushi had tried to pay Daichi for the meat bun, but he refused, literally pushing the pale hand away. Daichi had said that it was his gift to Koushi on his birthday, and finally Koushi relented and took a bite out of his meat bun. Daichi had stood there, chewing, watching this boy eat happily, as if nothing else in the world mattered except the meat bun that he was having on his birthday.  
  
“Happy birthday, Suga,” Daichi had said, and Koushi said “thanks” and flashed him a wide, bright smile that reached his eyes, crinkling them, right below that beauty mark near his left eye.  
  
Daichi knew that he had fallen in love with Koushi at that moment.  
  
Daichi was shaken out of his daydream by the ringing of his phone. He tapped the screen to answer and was met with Asahi’s voice.  
  
 _“Hey, Daichi, still want us to come shopping with you today?”_ asked Asahi.  
  
“Yes, please.”  
  
 _“Okay, we’ll pick you up in ten minutes.”_  
  
Asahi and Nishinoya had volunteered to go shopping with him for supplies for Koushi’s birthday celebration later that afternoon. Daichi was grateful for the company. Three heads were better than one, and they could all decide on what food was best to serve. The old Karasuno team was coming, even Hinata and Kageyama, who were skipping their respective trainings. Daichi was truly touched by the gesture, and he knew Koushi loved it.  
  
The team loved Koushi. Asahi always said that the captain and vice-captain were bad cop and good cop, respectively. Daichi was the scary dad, and Koushi was the approachable mom. Daichi once overheard Hinata refer to Koushi as “Sugamama”, and he laughed out loud, scaring Hinata out of his skin. He had promised Hinata he wouldn’t tell, but of course he just _had_ to tell Koushi on the way home from practice that day.  
  
“Did you know that Hinata calls you _‘Sugamama’_?” Daichi had said to Koushi, who walked in between him and Asahi.  
  
 _“What?”_ Koushi had laughed out loud, the sound filling Daichi with warmth.  
  
“Yeah, everyone on the team calls you that,” Asahi had chimed in. They both looked at their giant friend, and Koushi asked, “You _knew_ this? And you didn’t tell me?”  
  
Asahi had shrugged. “I was scared Daichi would get mad at me.”  
  
“Why would I get mad?” Daichi had asked. “It’s not _my_ nickname.”  
  
“Yeah, but you get all protective of Suga,” Asahi had commented with a smile.  
  
Koushi had laughed again, and then he took Daichi’s hand and intertwined their fingers. “My big, strong boyfriend,” he cooed at Daichi, and the captain blushed an intense red as his heart melted. They had been dating for about a year then, but only Asahi knew about their relationship.  
  
The only reason Asahi even knew was because he had caught Daichi buying a bouquet of white roses early one morning on the way to school, in their second year, and Daichi’s brain couldn’t come up with an excuse. Daichi had given the roses to Koushi and confessed his feelings that day, before morning practice. Koushi had teared up instantly, confessed that he felt the same way, and said yes, of course he would be Daichi’s boyfriend. When he had calmed down, Koushi started teasing Daichi about the roses. “So cheesy,” he had said, but Daichi could see that he loved them.  
  
Koushi was the best boyfriend. Granted, Daichi didn’t have any other boyfriends to compare him to, but he knew Koushi was the best. They spent their lunch breaks sharing food, and Daichi soon developed a taste for all things spicy, though not as spicy as Koushi liked it. After practice, they would spend the late hours in each other’s houses studying, and then kissing, and then laying next to each other in bed, not necessarily in that order.  
  
Their first time was in Daichi’s old bedroom, on the day that the third years retired and Daichi officially took over the team as captain. They had both fumbled with each other awkwardly, not really knowing what to do, but it was still one of Daichi’s favorite days until now, many years later.  
  
The rest of the team later found out about him and Koushi, though, and they had been very supportive. They were even until now.  
  
Daichi heard a car honking outside. That was Asahi and Nishinoya, he knew. He started out the door, but not before calling out, “We’ll be back in a bit, Koushi!” He got in the backseat and greeted Asahi, who was driving, and Nishinoya, who was halfway through a popsicle like a little kid.  
  
“Daichi-san!” Nishinoya greeted back. “We’re gonna throw Suga-san the best birthday party ever!”  
  
Daichi chuckled as Asahi pulled out of the driveway and gently chided, “Let’s not get too carried away, Yuu.”  
  
“But it’s going to be the _best_ , Asahi-san!” Nishinoya insisted. “Everyone’s gonna be there! Even Shouyou and Kageyama!”  
  
“Yeah, thanks for getting that organized, Noya,” said Daichi, smiling.  
  
“It was really no big deal,” Nishinoya waved his hand dismissively. “When I said it was Suga-san’s birthday, they were instantly on board and promised to beg off from their practices.”  
  
Daichi looked out the car window and smiled. He was so proud of his old team, whom he and Koushi privately referred to as “their boys.”  
  
When Hinata and Kageyama had first gotten into the pro teams, he and Koushi weren’t exactly on speaking terms. They had both been in university, but on different sides of the country. They had broken up right after high school graduation. He had wanted to try long distance, but Koushi didn’t, said it was going to be too tough on both of them, that they both needed to focus on their careers. They had stopped talking to one another completely.  
  
After college, Daichi had moved back to Miyagi and joined the police force. He had heard that Koushi was also back, teaching at a small daycare center, but they hadn’t seen each other until Daichi’s and Asahi’s joint 23rd birthday party on New Year’s Eve. Koushi had decided to join the old Karasuno team for the celebration, and Daichi couldn’t keep his eyes off the ashen-haired man all night. When all the other boys were too drunk to function, he and Koushi finally got to talking alone.  
  
“I miss you, Daichi,” Koushi had said softly. “I was wrong. I didn’t even give us a chance. I wish we had never broken up.”  
  
Daichi’s heart had swelled to twice its size. He had always felt the same way about Koushi as he did all those years ago, when he got him a meat bun on his birthday. There had been others — Daichi had tried to move on after all — but no one held a candle to Koushi. He was still in love with his teammate, his vice-captain, his best friend, after all this time.  
  
“Why can’t we be together now?” Daichi had asked, taking a risk and leaning in for a kiss. Koushi had wrapped his arms around Daichi’s neck instantly and kissed him with the passion equivalent to years of love and longing. Daichi had held Koushi in his arms as they kissed, making up for the time they’d lost. The next thing Daichi knew, they were in Koushi’s empty house, in his old bedroom, making love, no longer awkward teenagers, now adults who were sure of themselves and what they wanted.  
  
The next morning, Koushi had apparently taken a photo of Daichi, sleeping shirtless on his bed, and had sent it to the Karasuno group chat, with the caption, _“Look, boys! Daddy’s sleeping so peacefully beside Sugamama.”_ Daichi had blushed out of extreme embarrassment at the messages they were cropping up, mostly teasing about the sex, but the way Koushi had laid in his arms, giggling the entire time, made it all worth it.  
  
After two years, they both decided to move to Tokyo. They had made the necessary arrangements, gotten jobs, found a nice apartment, and soon moved in together. There had been no fancy housewarming party — that was too expensive and all of their friends were back in Miyagi anyway. Instead, Daichi had prepared a nice dinner just for the two of them. When Koushi got home from work on that first day, Daichi met him at the door with a bouquet of white roses. Koushi had laughed, hugged Daichi, and said that the roses were his favorite.  
  
“Daichi-san!” called Nishinoya, bringing Daichi back to reality. Nishinoya was holding up a packet of red peppercorn.  
  
“How much of these are we gonna need?”  
  
Daichi laughed. “However much you think we’re gonna need to burn a hole in Tanaka’s stomach.”  
  
 _“Osu!”_ Nishinoya laughed and gave a salute to Daichi. He shook his head as he walked around the grocery store absentmindedly, his thoughts drifting back to his grocery shopping trips with Koushi in Australia. They had moved there about three years after moving to Tokyo. Well, Koushi moved after two, and Daichi after three. But getting to that part was not at all easy.  
  
Koushi had been offered a scholarship to an Australian university. It was a prestigious one, and would certainly open so many doors, career-wise. Daichi couldn’t blame him for wanting to take it. But Daichi couldn’t afford to move at that time. They barely had any savings, he was making just enough at the Tokyo police force, and he wasn’t sure how his police and law background would fare in an entirely different country with entirely different laws. They had gotten into a big fight, which ended up with Daichi sleeping on the couch for the next week. When they had both calmed down, they decided to give long distance a try this time. So Koushi took the scholarship and moved to Australia, and Daichi stayed behind in Tokyo. But soon, Daichi realized that his career — his life — in Tokyo was empty without the love of his love, and decided to just screw it. He joined Koushi after exactly a year.  
  
When he arrived in Australia, Koushi had already gotten the hang of the foreign place. He knew where all the good Japanese food was, and Daichi didn’t miss out on his favorites. But it was too expensive to keep eating out, so they had to find grocery stores that stocked their supplies. Since they weren’t too common, Koushi hoarded everything every time they went grocery shopping — especially the peppercorns that were the secret ingredient to his super spicy mapo tofu. It burned a hole in Daichi’s intestines, but Koushi loved it, and Daichi loved Koushi.  
  
Daichi had quickly found a job in Australia, and a month after settling into his new life, he proposed to Koushi, first handing him a bouquet of white roses, and then getting down on one knee and holding out a plain silver band. It had been just the two of them in their tiny apartment, but it couldn’t have been more perfect. Koushi had cried his eyes out and said “you idiot, of course I’ll marry you!”  
  
The wedding was held after just five months. “What’s the point in waiting?” Koushi had said. “I just want you to be Mr. Daichi Sugawara already!” They had agreed that Daichi would take Koushi’s last name, so that he didn’t have to touch his scholarship paperwork. It had been a very small ceremony, attended only by their family members and Asahi and Nishinoya, who had made a pit stop in Australia just for the occasion. The venue was decorated all in white, with practically hundreds of white roses. Koushi had looked absolutely ethereal in his white suit, and Daichi had no other memories of that day except for Koushi’s beautiful face as they said their vows.  
  
They were too poor for a proper honeymoon, so Daichi had simply strewn white rose petals on their bed as soon as they got home that night. Koushi had joined in, laughing as he threw petals into the air and all over the floor of their bedroom. In the morning, they realized the mess they made, and Koushi had pestered Daichi to be the one to clean it all up, claiming to be sore from their “honeymoon.” Daichi had grumbled, but he didn’t want to be a bad husband on his first day, so he found the broom and obeyed.

“Daichi?”

He felt Asahi’s large hand on his shoulder, his mind floating back to the present. He saw that Asahi and Nishinoya were carrying the groceries. They had completed the shopping without his help.

“Do you want to get the flowers now?” asked Asahi. Daichi simply nodded. There was a flower shop across the street, and all three of them walked over there. Daichi chose the best white roses he could find in the store and paid for two dozen of them. They all made their way back to Asahi’s car, where the groceries were loaded in the trunk. Daichi hung on to the roses, placing them gingerly on his lap as he sat quietly in the backseat while Asahi drove back to the house.

They parked right outside. Daichi unlocked the front door, and Asahi and Nishinoya joined him inside. Daichi’s eyes immediately fell on the small, white ceramic jar that sat on the mantle, near the front door. The jar was decorated in beautiful, flowing kanji that spelled out Koushi’s name.

It had been exactly a year since Koushi died. He would have been thirty-five today.

Koushi graduated with his Master’s Degree in Education about a year after they had gotten married. When Koushi found a job at the university, he pushed Daichi to pursue further studies as well. Turns out, being married to an assistant professor earned Daichi a discount in fees, and so he managed to scrape up some money to take law courses.

They had been talking about settling down in Australia. They were legally married, they could own property as a couple, they could adopt children, or perhaps get a surrogate. Koushi loved kids, always wanted one of his own, and he wanted one with Daichi. They could do that there. So they decided to stay.

Daichi finished his studies in two years and instantly got a promotion at work. They had already bought the apartment they were staying in from their former landlord, and so the next logical step was to try to start a family. Koushi was beyond excited. He did all the research, got in contact with all the agencies. It was a tedious process, made even difficult by the fact that they were immigrants, but Koushi was determined to have a baby, and Daichi was just as determined to support his husband.

Daichi didn’t know if it was the stress, or just plain bad luck. A year after they decided to try for adoption, Koushi was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Their days were occupied by doctor’s appointments and treatments. Koushi wanted to keep trying with the adoption, but Daichi put his foot down on the issue.

“We’re not trying for a baby until you get better,” he said firmly. “So you need to get better, okay?”

And he did. Koushi got better. He took his medication religiously, his prescribed diet seriously. He never missed a doctor’s appointment. After a year, the doctors cleared him of cancer. He wanted to jump back into adoption right away, but Daichi reeled him in. “You need to take it easy,” he reminded Koushi. “It’ll happen for us, okay? Soon.”

“Do you know why I want a baby?” Koushi had asked.

“Because you love kids,” Daichi replied automatically.

“Well, yes. But also, so that you won’t be alone.”

“I’m not alone. I’m with you.”

That had calmed Koushi down. He stopped the incessant calls to agencies, the mindless research. He slowly got back to his old teaching routine at the university. The students loved him and were excited to welcome him back. Some of them would drop by their apartment with food for Koushi. “Hi, Officer Sugawara,” the kids used to greet Daichi as he opened the door, “just wanted to leave this for Professor Sugawara.”

More than two years had passed since he was cleared, and his regular tests were looking good. Daichi had promised that they would try again for a baby when Koushi was better, and Koushi was definitely better.

Until he got worse.

Koushi complained of a really bad headache that wouldn’t go away for days. He insisted it was just a migraine, but one morning, he collapsed as he got out of bed. Daichi rushed him to the hospital and received the worst news. The cancer was back. It had metastasized to Koushi’s brain and was spreading rapidly throughout the rest of his body.

Daichi took a leave from work to care for Koushi full time at home. Koushi fought, and he fought hard, but the disease took such a toll on his body. He lost weight like crazy. His skin, which had always been pale, had started to turn grey, as if the life was literally draining out of him. It was torture for Daichi to watch the love of his life slowly melt away. But as captain, Daichi had lots of practice holding back tears. He never cried when Koushi was awake. Koushi would never see him cry.

Daichi had to rush Koushi again to the hospital about four months later, and this time, they weren’t allowed to go home. Koushi’s mom flew in to help Daichi care for him. Daichi was grateful, but he still never left Koushi’s side. He sat there all day, holding his hand, feeding him, telling him silly jokes. At night, when Koushi had fallen asleep, Daichi would sob quietly in his chair, washing away the day’s pain, so that he could take on more tomorrow. When he was all cried out, he’d crawl gingerly onto the bed, careful to take up the least amount of space possible, and lay down next to Koushi. He’d whisper to Koushi’s sleeping form how much he loved him, and promised him that they would get a baby as soon as Koushi got better. “Even if you have to knock some girl up just so you can have a baby, I’m cool with that,” Daichi whispered one night, chuckling to himself, silent tears streaming down his face.

The days turned into weeks. The next thing Daichi knew, they had been living in the hospital for almost a month. Koushi wasn’t getting better.

One morning, Daichi woke up to the shrill sound of beeping. It was Koushi’s heart monitor. He jumped out of the hospital bed as the medical staff rushed in, desperately trying to revive Koushi. His mother-in-law held him back as he thrashed and screamed, demanding for Koushi to wake up, to come back to him. He wasn’t done loving Koushi. Koushi couldn’t be gone.

But he was.

When the nurses handed him the forms, he saw the date. June 13th. Koushi’s birthday.

Daichi knew he couldn’t stay in Australia any longer. There was no point in doing so. His mother-in-law graciously offered to stay longer and help him pack up his life. They debated for a while on how to bring Koushi back home, until they decided that the best course of action would be to have his body cremated there, and then simply bring home the ashes. It was too tedious, too expensive to have the body flown to Miyagi. The rest of Koushi’s family was not happy about that at first, but his mother-in-law helped him defend the decision.

In two weeks, Daichi had Koushi’s body cremated, left his job, canceled all the adoption applications, and finished all the paperwork to sell the apartment. Only the cash was missing, but he and the buyer agreed that the money would simply be wired to his account so that he didn’t have to stay a minute longer.

Daichi was back in Miyagi in no time. He spent the money he got for the apartment and his savings to buy a house of his own. It was a tiny one, with a small backyard, a living room, a kitchen, two bedrooms, and one bathroom. He figured the second bedroom could be an office or a guest room.

They held the funeral rites for Koushi in this house. There were so many people, all of whom loved Koushi — his former students, his fellow teachers, even some of his students’ parents were there. Their friends from their volleyball days were there too — people from the training camps, practice matches, official matches. Of course, the old Karasuno team was there, except for Hinata and Kageyama, who both had games abroad. Most of the people in attendance bowed to Daichi and extended their condolences to him as Koushi’s husband, but there were others who ignored him and instead paid their respects to Koushi’s parents. His old team was furious for him, but it didn’t really matter to him.

What did matter to him, however, was that Koushi’s family had allowed him to keep the ashes. “You’re his husband,” his mother-in-law had said. “You’re his family now.” Daichi had sobbed hysterically at those words. He chose a white jar that reminded him of the color of angel’s wings. Koushi was his angel now. Daichi’s sister, a gifted artist, asked if she could decorate the jar, and Daichi obliged. When he got it back, it had the beautiful blue kanji on it, the same pale blue as Koushi’s scarf, the one he used to use when they were in high school. He had sobbed uncontrollably the moment he saw it.

“Daichi, I need you to taste this,” he heard Asahi’s voice float from the kitchen.

Daichi shook his head, forcing himself to come back to reality. He padded to where Asahi stood in front of the stove, stirring a pot of thick, red liquid. He took a spoonful and shoved it into his mouth. Instantly, Daichi gagged and stuck his tongue out.

“It’s perfect, Asahi,” he smiled. “Just the way he likes it.”

Asahi smiled back and added the tofu into the pot.

“How can I help?” asked Daichi. Asahi shooed him away.

“Stop. Just sit.”

“This is my house.”

“You’re not functional, and that’s why we’re here.”

Daichi choked back a sob as he leaned against the kitchen counter. Asahi turned a knob on the stove, leaving the pot to simmer, and put an arm around Daichi.

“Let it out,” he said. “No one’s going to think you’re weak. Especially not today.”

And so the tears came. Daichi couldn’t control it. He was a blubbering mess, and he held on to Asahi for dear life. Asahi rubbed soothing circles on his back.

“It’s okay, Daichi,” said Asahi, his own voice breaking.

“I miss him so much,” Daichi sobbed into Asahi’s chest.

“I know,” Asahi replied. “We all do.”

Daichi sniffled and straightened up, wiping his face with his sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” said Asahi in a stern voice. “Come on, why don’t you take a nap first? Or maybe freshen up?” He cocked his head towards the bedroom.

“And… maybe I could borrow a fresh t-shirt too,” Asahi added sheepishly, glancing down at his shirt, where there were large, wet patches on his chest.

Daichi laughed. “Yeah, of course.” Daichi led Asahi to the bedroom. Asahi sat on the edge of the bed as Daichi pulled the closet door open and began rummaging through his clothes, looking for something that would fit the bigger man.

“How have you been sleeping?” asked Asahi softly as Daichi pulled a shirt from his closet and handed it to his friend.

“Better now.”

It was true. When Daichi first got back, he couldn’t sleep at all. He was crying all through the night, all alone in his house. He wasted his life away, barely sleeping, barely eating, crying his eyes out, screaming his lungs out. Tanaka was the first one who came to visit, but soon, Asahi was barging into his house, suitcase in tow.

“I’m moving in,” Asahi had announced. Tanaka had apparently sounded the alarm and called for reinforcements, explaining the state he found their old captain in. The team had agreed that while Suga-san was the only person who could ever scold Daichi-san, Asahi-san was the closest second that they had. And so Asahi stayed with him for the first three months, until he slowly got his life back together. He got a job with the police force again. He volunteered to help out the Karasuno Volleyball Club as an assistant coach. He joined the neighborhood volleyball association. By the time Asahi moved out, Daichi was self-sufficient.

Except for today.

In a fresh shirt, Daichi reached over the bed and plucked the picture frame resting on the pillow beside his own. It was a picture of Koushi, smiling widely on their wedding day. His grey hair reflected the sunlight, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his round cheeks flush and pink.

“Suga looked very handsome on that day,” Asahi recalled fondly as Daichi held the frame in his hands. “You both did.”

“Yeah, but the white tuxedo suited him better,” Daichi said with a small smile.

“Ah, yes it did,” Asahi agreed.

Daichi slowly spread his fingers across Koushi’s face in the frame. “Hinata and Kageyama will be here soon, Kou,” he whispered. “Our baby boys are all grown up.”

Tears started streaming down Daichi’s face again. Asahi walked up to him silently and enveloped him in a tight embrace.

“Sugamama would be very, very proud of his boys,” Asahi said. “And of you,” he added quickly. Daichi chuckled.

“You can stay here for a while,” Asahi said softly as Daichi pulled away. “Noya and I, we’ve got this. Don’t worry.”

Daichi considered it for a moment, and then nodded. Asahi smiled at him.

“I’ll come get you when everyone’s here,” he said as he made his way out of Daichi’s room, closing the door behind him.

Daichi lay down on the bed, placing Koushi’s picture on his heart. “I miss you, Koushi. I miss you so much,” he whispered to the empty room as he started sobbing again, the tears trailing down his temples and entering his ears.

Daichi must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, Asahi was hovering above him, whispering, “Daichi, wake up.”

Daichi blinked. “Sorry,” he mumbled as he sat up. Asahi waved a dismissive hand.

“Everyone’s here,” said Asahi. “Kageyama was the last to arrive, just a few minutes ago. We’re ready whenever you are.”

Daichi stood slowly and nodded. “I’m ready.”

Asahi draped an arm around his shoulders, and together they walked into the living room, where the team was waiting. Daichi clutched Koushi’s picture to his chest tighter.

He looked at the mantle and saw that Asahi and Noya had placed the bouquets of roses and a long thin candle on each side of the white jar. Daichi gingerly balanced Koushi’s picture in front of the jar. He then took a ring out of his pocket — Koushi’s wedding ring — and placed it beside the frame. He stepped back to admire his handiwork.

“Sawamura-san!”

Daichi turned around and saw Hinata and Kageyama bowed low, bent at the waist, in front of him. “We apologize we didn’t come sooner!” they said in unison.

Daichi chuckled softly at the sight of these two grown men, professional volleyball players, bowed low before him in his tiny living room. They looked like the feisty first years who had caused him trouble with the vice-principal and were now asking to be allowed into the team. Koushi would’ve gotten a kick out of it.

“Please get up,” he said. Hinata and Kageyama both straightened.

“First of all, I’m not Sawamura anymore, remember?” he said, wiggling the fingers of his left hand, where a ring similar to the one on the mantle was wrapped around his finger. Hinata and Kageyama exchanged sheepish looks. “Second, you have nothing to apologize for. I understand that you guys aren’t here a lot. And I truly appreciate you coming here today.”

“Kou- uh, Suga would have been very happy to see you today,” he added softly. “His kouhai, now in the big leagues.”

Hinata suddenly jumped and embraced Daichi. “I wanted to make Sugamama proud!” he sobbed. Daichi chuckled as he returned Hinata’s embrace, blinking back tears.

Hinata finally let go, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, and joined the rest of the team. Asahi handed Daichi a stick of incense, which Daichi burned with one of the candles on the mantle. He bowed low in silent prayer, letting the smoke from the incense fill the room. From his peripheral vision, he saw the rest of the team behind him, bent similarly at the waist. They followed suit when he straightened up.

“Happy birthday, Koushi,” Daichi said in a firm voice.

“Happy birthday, Suga-san!” Nishinoya exclaimed happily, breaking the tension.

“Happy birthday, Suga-san!” the rest of the team called out in unison.

“All right!” said Nishinoya, padding to the kitchen where the spread of food was waiting. “It’s time for super spicy mapo tofu!”

Everyone groaned, but Daichi and Asahi laughed. They started gathering around the food, trying to avoid the red-hot dish.

Daichi hung back, staring at Koushi’s laughing face, fidgeting with his own wedding ring.

_What am I gonna do without you now, Kou?_

He felt Asahi’s hand on his shoulder, the larger man draping his arm around him and pulling him into a side hug. Daichi glanced up and saw that Asahi was looking at Koushi’s picture too, with tears in his eyes. And then, from the opposite side, Daichi felt an arm slink its way around his waist. Kiyoko rested her head on Daichi’s shoulder as she too stared at Koushi’s picture.

“We got him, Suga, don’t worry,” said Asahi.

Daichi shuddered as he sobbed quietly, sandwiched between his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> As I mentioned in the beginning, I was listening to "For the Lover that I Lost" while I was writing this. I actually had an entirely different story for this last day, but I completely scrapped it when this suddenly came to me, almost fully formed, after I listened to the song. 
> 
> While I have lost loved ones, I have not lost anyone in the same way that Daichi lost Suga. For anyone who has (and for everyone reading this, actually), I hope this fic brought you some comfort and not just pain. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments if you liked this! <3


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